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I stumbled across a link to sign up to receive emails from the 'Rough Guide to Weddings' people on the Rough Guide facebook page today. Now, I really like Rough Guides, I think the writing is well informed, balanced and useful, but the first weddingy email I received really didn't come across that way. I know I didn't have to sign up for said emails so I can't really complain, but I really thought Rough Guides might have something intelligent to say on the matter. Oh no. The very first thing they have to say is this:

"Money matters"

"Love may be free, but weddings cost money - lots of it. Whatever your total budget, here's a likely breakdown of the costs:

• Food & drink: 40%
  
• Music: 8%
• Clothes & rings: 13%
  
• Stationery: 3%
• Photos/video: 12%
  
• Gifts: 3%
• Reception venue: 8%
  
• Ceremony: 3%
• Flowers: 8%
• Transport & parking: 2% "
  

Are they completely mad? Okay, granted, the fact that presumably they got this from some genuine statistics is what is really insane about this. (Um hello? Spending the same amount of money on stationary as on your WEDDING CEREMONY? This is not cool with me.) But what really made me fume was that this is what they chose as the first thing to share with potential customers. They are trying to sell their book, fair enough, but why is it that the only way we seem to be sold things now is through negativity? What might have inclined me to buy their book, or at least see if it was in the Library, is something positive. Some advice that made me feel happy about getting married, not a list of how much money everybody else spends! Our whole consumer culture is based on companies feeding off our insecurities, from cleaning products that imply you might kill your baby if you don't use them to 'anti'-aging creams and just about any cosmetic you care to mention, but I really thought Rough Guides were better than that.

It seems, when it comes to weddings, publishers are like your nearest and dearest; some people/publishers who are usually very sensible and give very sound advice turn into chiffon crazed spendaholics when you mention the 'W' word. Of course I haven't read the book and it could be that it gives very useful advice, but judging by the email I'm going to guess not.

I suppose the only thing to do is take pleasure in the fact that so far our 'stationary' costs are £7.99 on a box of 100 penguin book cover postcards which we're going to use as invites, and I think that will be it. So based on their table our wedding is going to cost £266.33. Awesome!